Jabberwocky
by Em and Jamie
Summary: The twin son and daughter of Remus and Penelope Lupin learn about their powers in. an unexpected way, and go through their zany first year at Hogwarts, making both friends... and enemies.
1. Of Twins, Teams, and Tie-Dye

Jabberwocky

by Em and Jamie

  


  


Chapter One: Of Twins, Teams, and Tie-Dye

  


Thursday, May 17, 2014

  


Mrs. Lister (or Mrs. Blister, as most of the students called her) was on the rampage again. It hadn't even been 10 minutes through Advanced Mathematics, and she had already given out three detentions, and warned the entire class with administrative referral. And, as usual, her main targets were the Lupin twins.

  


"James Lupin! Pay attention!" She yelled sharply from her computer. James' head snapped up from the notes he had been copying from his sister, Emily, only to look into the sharp green eyes of the resident evil. Emily, who was next to him, sighed. It was going to be one of those days again.

  


"Would you care to share your notes with the rest of the class?" Next to him, he felt Emily tense up.

  


"Go right ahead," she said, under her breath. "Read his 'juicy secrets'." James looked at his sister in surprise; though she was usually quiet and reserved, it was widely well known that she held a special grudge for Mrs. Helen Lister. He just didn't think she would ever talk back, even if it was under her breath.

  


"I heard that. Hold your tongue, Ms. Lupin. Let's see now..." Mrs. Lister said, adjusting her glasses so that she could read the notes more easily. "X is a variable, used to represent a number in an equation..." The rest of the class laughed at her missed judgement. She looked up sharply. "For that cheek of yours, Emily, you get detention for the next week. And so do you, James, for passing notes." The class shut up; if the two students with the highest grade just got a week's worth of detention, what would happen to the rest of them?

  


"That's not fair!" James said, his face turning a vivid shade of red. "I wasn't passing notes!"

  


"Another week's worth, James, for backtalk." Disgusted, Emily stood up and gathered her things.

  


"I'm not going to sit through a class where people get detention for nothing," she said. James pulled her down next to him and hoarsley whispered in her ear.

  


"Em...." he started.

  


"James, you hear the woman! Sometimes she makes me so....mad!" As she said this, she gestured with her hand over to the seething Mrs. Lister, then turned her attention back to gathering her things together. Suddenly, a scream erupted from the teacher, sending the students scattering. James looked up. Mrs. Lister had apparently caught a glimpse of her own reflection in the classroom window and was now screaming at her appearance; somehow, it seemed that her entire

personage had acquired a rather...colorful hue. James laughed. Their teacher had been mysterious tie-dyed: from bee-hived hair to orthopedic shoe clad toe. Emily was already out the door, clutching her books to her chest. James caught up to her at the double doors to the school.

  


"Em, where do you think you're going?" he asked.

  


"**HOME**!" she shouted back at him.

  


"Do you realize how much trouble we'll be in with Mum and Dad if we get home this early?"

  


"Mum and Dad will understand. I'm going home anyway." James sighed. There was no dealing with her when she was in one of these moods. He benignly followed his sister down to street away from the school.  Emily and James Lupin made an interesting picture moving quickly up the sidewalk towards their home, just outside Cambridge, England; Emily was taking long strides, befitting her athletic build, while her twin brother was jogging lightly to keep up with his

irritated counterpart. In a matter of minutes they had reached the brick house at the end of Raleigh Street. Emily stomped onto the porch and took out her key, opening the door.

  


The house was absolutely pitch black. James and Emily stood in the front hallway, confused and blinking in the darkness. Surely either Mum or Dad would be home now? James lit up his watch and Emily adjusted her glasses. 12:46. They had left right before lunchtime. Mum was probably at work, and Dad was probably holed up in the computer room, checking stocks or something. Odd.....the lights shouldn't be out. Emily had dropped her books and was now heading up the stairs to her room. James decided to check the kitchen. The door was closed, though. Pulling back the handle, all of the lights went on and Emily stopped halfway up and ran to the kitchen to see what was the matter.

  


"SURPRISE!" The kitchen was decked out in unbelievable streamers of every color (especially tie-dye, James noted), and a most curious sight ensued...Mum and Dad were standing in the middle of the kitchen, wearing bathrobes of some sort and each holding something behind their backs. Dad gave them a broad smile.

  


"Happy Birthday, you two, " Mum said, kissing both of them on top of their heads. Emily was flabbergasted, and James looked equally befuddled. 'That's right', James thought, 'it's out 11th birthday...!' He must have forgotten, what with the Blister and all. 

  


"Who are you and what have you done with Penny and Remus Lupin?" Emily said under her breath. Those robe thingies. .. Dad's being dark blue, and Mum's being red, and each was carrying a stick of wood. The things behind their backs turned out to be bulky letters written in some strange green ink. Emily turned to James and gave him a look that plainly said the same thing that he was thinking: Our Parents have lost it. Mum, reading their faces, laughed again. James gave each of his parents a puzzled grin and grabbed a cookie from the plate on the table- he had a feeling that whatever he was about to hear; he'd need sustenance for it.

"Kuk ox oufitcz." He said around a mouthful of chocolate chips and cookie.

  

    
    His father winced, "Pardon?" "I said," Jamie swallowed quickly, "Kick as-" "James Nathaniel Lupin," His mother interrupted, "I want you to think carefully before you finish that statement- is it really worth what I'll have to do to you after it's out?" He appeared to be weighing his options as Emily helped herself to a

cookie and grinned at him evilly, the events of the day having been temporarily forgotten.

  


He apparently decided against completing his thought, because he instead grinned widely and said, "Great outfits. What's up? You're a bit early for Halloween."

"That's what we have to tell you two about." Remus smiled at the confused expression that settled on his son and daughter's face. Emily walked over and plopped down in the chair next to her father, equally puzzled.
    
    "What, you're going to some costume party on our birthday?" "No, not exactly." He replied. "Well, go on. Spit it out." Jamie said, biting another chunk out of the remaining half of his cookie.  And so they did. As Remus said "What if we told you magic was real?" Penny started, "There's a whole other world you don't know about." The statement their two children actually heard was something like, "What if a whole you world was real know about." Leaving both of them utterly mystified. "Come again?" Jamie asked during the awkward silence that followed.   After a shared look with her husband, Penelope Lupin blurted out; "Wizards and witches exist. Magic is real. I'm a witch, your father is a wizard." Now it was Emily and Jamie's turn for a shared look, one where both were obviously questioning their beloved parents' sanity; but whereas Emily had a dubious, slightly bemused look on her face, Jamie was quite thrilled that his parents' sanity seemed to have finally sunken to his own self proclaimed sub-normal level.   Looking from his son's face to his daughter's, Remus Lupin realized they'd need proof. He turned to his wife. "I don't think they believe us, Penny, dear. Well, you'll understand a lot more after reading these." He held out one of the thick envelopes to each of them. James tore into his letter (addressed to Mr. James Lupin, the second bedroom on the right, he noted with satisfaction), which said:

  


  


HOGWARTS SCHOOL

_of_ WITCHCRAFT _and_ WIZARDRY

  


Headmaster: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

(_Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,_

_Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. Of Wizards_)

  


Dear Mr. Lupin,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted 

at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find

enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

  


Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no

later than July 31.

  


Yours sincerely,

  


Minerva McGonagall

  


Minerva McGonagall,

_Deputy Headmistress_

  


  


  


  


Emily finished reading her letter first, which was exactly the same as James', save for the name and address. She looked up at them, with a smile slowly spreading on her face.

  


"So you're saying that we're 'wizards'....."

  



	2. Two Up and Three Across

Jabberwocky 

Chapter 2: Three up and two across 

by Em and Jamie 

  
  


  
  


Author's Note: Anne and Verbum are both broke, and we both know that all of the characters except for Em, Jamie, Penelope Lupin, and Muriel Black belong to JK Rowling. We are making absolutely no money from this. Please be kind enough to read and review chapter 1 before reading this. Thank you. That is all.

  
  


  
  


  
  


Jamie was shaking; whether it was with the newly found revelation that he was a wizard and his sister was a witch, or if it was all the cookies that he had eaten, no one knew. His mother snatched the chocolate chip cookie that was halfway to his mouth out of his hand. 

"There _are_ other things on the table,' she said, a grin on her face. Em, who was watching from the other end of the table looked at her parents. For once, they were having as much fun as their children were, giving them a much younger appearance. Her father came up behind her and stood behind her chair. 

"Tomorrow," he said, "we go to Diagon Alley to pick up your supplies early. Thankfully, it won't be crowded." 

"If Sirius decides to show," his wife added. Remus Lupin grinned.

"He has to. This is Muriel's first year of teaching. He wouldn't miss it for the world." Penelope's smiled, her mind in a different place. 

"Can you believe that I used to teach her?" She said absentmindedly as she brushed cookie crumbs off of her son.

Emily and James looked at each other, giving the occasional sidelong glance to their parents as they rambled on about their Hogwarts days. They somehow seemed more relaxed now, as if they were letting down a facade. 

_I guess Dad really isn't joe-schmoe average accountant_, Jamie thought to himself, watching his parents laugh and talk about Old Professor King and someone known as Snape. Thankfully, the ringing doorbell proved a great distraction for both him and Em to get away from their slightly loony parents and they both ran to the door to answer it, with Remus close behind. Em reached it first. 

"Hello?" she said cautiously, peering through the peephole. The slightly distorted face of Sirius Black met her view. 

"Emmie? Open the door and give your uncle a hug!" Unlocking the door, Sirius burst in, laden with all types of oddly shaped packages. 

"Lord, Sirius, let me give you a hand with all that," Remus said, taking on a large portion of the gifts. 

"What did you do, buy out Diagon Alley?" Penny said, picking up the parcels that dropped on the floor in the front hall. 

"Very nearly. There's more, too, that Muriel's bringing in from the car." As if on cue, Muriel burst through the door, dropping her packages on the threshold. 

"Dad... next time we go shopping, I'm doing the buying, I think you cleared out Quality Quidditch supplies." 

"Quid-ditch?" James said to himself, sounding the word out slowly. "What's Quid-ditch?" 

"I'll tell you later," Remus replied, neatly stacking up the parcels on the couch.

"But that's the fun of it, Muri," Sirius was saying to his daughter, walking over to her and ruffling her short black hair. She adjusted her glasses and glared good-naturedly at her father. 

Emily had to laugh at her brother. As soon as Muriel had stepped through the door, James dropped what he was doing and went comatose. He had this reaction every time Muriel came over, though. It was chronic. Currently, he was staring at her with open eyes. She slipped across the living room over to him, grinning evilly. 

"Jamie, you might want to pick up your lower jaw from the floor," She hissed in his ear. 

James shook his head for a moment and looked at Emily quizzically. 

"What did you say?" Emily laughed, joining her parents once more and leaving Jamie alone to gawk at Muriel. 

"...Sirius can stay in the extra guest bedroom downstairs and... hmmm..." their mother was saying. Remus slipped an arm around Penelope's shoulder. 

"What's wrong, luv?" he asked. 

"I'm trying to find a way to fit Muriel in without her having to sleep near Sirius." Remus thought for a moment 

"Well, there's one way. Emmie, dear, would you mind giving up your room tonight to Muriel and sharing your brother's bedroom?" 

Jamie looked at Em and Em looked at Jamie. 

"No way," they both said in unison. 

"Well, then, it's settled," Penelope said, matter-of-factly. "Muriel, you'll be staying in Emily's room." Seeing some slight tension, Sirius changed the topic. 

"Shouldn't you all open your presents?" The twins dive-bombed towards the pile, leaving the adults in the room to laugh at the two rambunctious eleven year olds. Emily picked up a long rectangular-shaped present. 

"What on earth is this?" she asked, shaking it. Sirius smiled at her. 

"Open it and find out." She eagerly tore into the present, finding a slender wooden shaft, painted metallic light blue, and lettered in silver. 

"The Nimbus Hailstorm? It's... a- a broom, Uncle Sirius." Emily cautiously pointed out, as though her uncle might have lost what little sense he had. She didn't want to sound _ungrateful_ of course, but... well... she had received a cleaning apparatus for her birthday. Not exactly a bicycle. The room of adults laughed. 

"I highly doubt you'll think the same way after this year, honey," Remus said as Emily gave him a puzzled look and set the broomstick aside. Jamie was tearing into his presents, also.

His expression, however, was much different than that of his sister's. 

"Kick As--I mean, Cool!" he exclaimed. "I don't know what it is, but it looks cool!" He held up a huge package marked Zonko's. Remus and Penelope groaned in unison. 

"Aww, C'mon you two. It'll make the year MUCH more interesting." Sirius grinned. Penelope put on her forced smile that was only reserved for eating her children's culinary experiments and parent conferences with Mrs. Lister. Remus chuckled, and the children continued unwrapping their presents. 

After all the gifts had been unveiled and the wrappings cleared away with a wave of Penelope's wand (_Nifty_!, Em thought), Jamie and Em thanked Sirius, Muriel, and their parents for making it their most... interesting birthday yet, to say the least. The twins headed up to Jamie's room to go to bed, bickering occasionally, but really too tired and excited to put any real energy into it. Soon enough Emily, at least, was fast asleep.

--------------------------------------------- 

Em woke up early the next morning, just as she always did, and stretched out her muscles, careful not to disturb Jamie, who had stayed up all night playing Final Fantasy and had just fallen asleep on the floor. She quietly walked to her room and rummaged through her closet, throwing on a pair of jeans and an old sweater. She crept past her lavender covered bed where Muriel was still out like a light, and downstairs. She picked her away around until she found the slender shaft of the broomstick (still laying on the couch) and stole away, out into the backyard. She stared at the pale broom in her hand. 

"Now what on earth am I supposed to do with this?" she said quietly, examining it.

"Drop it on the ground." Em spun around and came face to face with her father. 

"D-dad!" She dropped the broomstick. "W-what are you doing up?" 

"I could hear Sirius' snoring through the walls and it kept me awake. I was wondering the same about you. I knew you got up early, but... well, I had no idea," Remus said. Em blushed. 

"I was just... er..." Knowing that she had been caught, she hung her head. Remus smiled at his daughter. 

"It's early. `No one'll be able to see us. Just concentrate." 

"On what?" She wrinkled her brow.

"The broom. Focus all of your thoughts on making the broom move." He looked at his daughter, as she closed her eyes and exerted all of her energy on the broom. 

"Now," Remus began, quietly, "I want you to command the broom to move. Say up when I reach the count of three." Em nodded. 

"One...... Two...... Three." 

"Up!" The broomstick flew into Em's outstretched hand. She let go abruptly and jumped back, startled. She expected it to clatter to the ground, but it didn't. Emily stared at it in surprise as it peacefully floated in the morning air. 

"I... did that?" Remus nodded. 

"Yep. I think you're a natural. Most people can't on their first try." Remus mounted the floating broomstick and pulled his daughter on in front of him. 

"Now what?" 

"We're going to fly on a broomstick. What else?" Em turned around and stared at her father like he had lost it. 

"And how are we going to steer? What's propelling this thing? Is this safe? Legal, even?" Remus grinned. 

"I'm going to steer until you get the hang of it, magic, very, and probably." He kicked off of the ground and laughed as Em screamed. They were floating over the backyard. 

"So, where to?" Remus asked. 

"I don't care. Steer. Somewhere." Emily said, gripping the broomstick with one hand and her father with the other for dear life. Remus laughed once more as they sped off into the morning. 

-------------------------------- 

Remus and Emily flew back into the yard just before daybreak, breathless and excited. Emily tumbled off the broom onto the grass, cheeks flushed, laughing.

"Wow, Dad! I never knew you could do _that_ on a broom!"

"There's a lot you don't know now, but just wait till the end of the day!" Remus panted, grinning at his daughter.

"That's for sure!" A voice came from the porch and both father and daughter spun around to see Sirius leaning up against a column and sipping a cup of coffee, his dark eyes twinkling.

"That's right! Where exactly are we going, again? Diagonal alley or something like that?" She looked expectantly from her father to her uncle, who shot her a wicked grin.

"_Diagon_ Alley." Sirius corrected, pretending to look pained.

"Same thing." Emily muttered under her breath, but she was far too absorbed in her new broomstick to argue about semantics with Sirius. 

Her father had been right-- she certainly didn't look at it the same way now that it had propelled her across the early morning sky without causing any near death experiences. It had truly been incredible. 

They'd flown over her school and the playground where she often spent afternoons playing football (soccer) with her friends, they'd gazed down as Ms. Bristol collected the morning paper from her stoop in her magenta curlers which were so bright that Emily could distinguish them clearly, even from an elevation of fifty feet. Then they'd turned around and headed home, Remus saying, "Everyone will be up soon, so we'll have to have breakfast and get ready to leave for Diagon Alley."

And Emily had replied, "That reminds me-- how're we getting to this place? Mum said it was in London, right?"

"Right. We'll go by Floo Powder I expect. That's simplest." Judging by the confused expression on Emily's face she hadn't thought that explanation was simple at all, but she decided not to question it, as a large white owl carrying a package had just flown past them and she had a sneaking suspicion that her father might know what it was doing.

"Er, Dad?"

"Yes Emmie?"

"Was that an owl, just now?"

Remus shrugged (as best one can while directing a broomstick) and said, "Probably, it's still early. Why?"

"And was it carrying a package?"

"I wouldn't be surprised."

"Well, I would! In fact, I am!" Emily said indignantly. She'd had just about enough of this nonchalant attitude about magic. They were all so blasé about it! Flying broomsticks, mail-owls, "flew" powder, whatever that was. honestly!

Remus laughed again. He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately, and as they began the descent into their backyard he explained: "Owls carry wizards' mail, kind of like our own personal postal service."

"Oh." Emily nodded, pretending that made sense, as they tumbled off the broomstick and found Sirius on the back porch. The three went inside and discovered Penny in the kitchen standing over the stove, where she had pancakes sizzling. She reached for her wand, and, with a flick of her wrist, the pancakes flipped over by themselves. Emily shook her head. This was all too much to take in. Luckily, Mum didn't ask why Remus and her just walked into the kitchen carrying a broomstick.

Even more to her surprise, seated in the middle of the kitchen table was the same snowy owl they had passed in mid-flight, munching on a stalk of celery. At least she _thought _it was the same one. It certainly looked like it.

"Hedwig!" Sirius exclaimed behind her. Then he turned to Penny, "Did Harry send something?"

"Yeah, a package." She gestured to the counter with her wand, where a box wrapped in brown paper sat. A roll of parchment attached to the top. Remus took off the parchment and handed it to Sirius to read aloud as he handed the box to Emily.

"It's addressed to you- and your brother." Emily tore open the box to reveal two smaller packages as Sirius began to read:

_Dear Remus and Penelope,_

_Ginny reminded me the other day that Emily and James' eleventh birthdays were coming up, as they're the same age as Gwenny. I can hardly believe that they'll be at Hogwarts together (and as Ginny just called over to me: hardly imagine what they'll get up to). Gwenny has heard many a story about the Marauders (of course) and is dying to meet your children. She picked out a gift for each of them, which we've enclosed. _

_We've already taken her to Diagon Alley, but I'm sure we'll see you on September 1st, platform 9 ¾. And Sirius, as well- I've heard a rumor that Muriel is teaching this year. That'll be interesting- a Black actually enforcing a detention instead of receiving it! _

Remus snorted at this comment and Sirius made a face, but Emily could tell he was trying not to laugh.

_We can't wait to see you , Em, and Jamie again. _

_Best Wishes,_

_Harry and Ginny_

  
  


A postscript was attached in much different handwriting, more flowy and loopy than the other one. 

"It's probably Ginny adding something Harry forgot," Remus said, looking over Sirius' shoulder. Sirius nodded and laughed, handing the note to Remus.

"What's it say?" Em asked, shaking the box gently to see what was inside.

"Oh, nothing. Just a little note from Ginny to your mother and I, concerning your gifts." He grinned slyly to Sirius, who winked at him. Penelope walked over from the stove to glance at the letter. 

She looked up from the parchment grinning as Emily ripped the wrappings off one of the presents. It seemed to be a sort of strange shaped top thingie which suddenly went haywire, flashing and blinking and making a racket. Emily dropped it suddenly and turned around at her brother's voice.

"What's _that_ thing?"

Before Emily could say that she hadn't a clue, her mother answered for her.

"It's a sneakoscope- it only does _that_ when someone is doing something untrustworthy around it, and since it was fine until you walked into the room, may I ask, James Nathaniel Lupin, just what you've been up to?"

"Erm..." he blushed, turning his fair skin a bright shade of magenta.

Emily began to laugh along with her father and Sirius at the uncomfortable look on her brother's face.

Maybe this magic thing would be pretty cool after all.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Muriel had woken up and everyone had eaten breakfast, the twins went back upstairs to get washed and dressed. Emily was frantic, as she stood in the middle of her closet trying to figure out what to wear. She skirted around the pile of clothes she had tried on already and leaned against the closet walls with a sigh. Finally, out of frustration, she grabbed her favorite sweater and a pair of khakis. Her brother, however, had opted for his usual mode of dress, putting on a tie-dyed shirt and a pair of jeans. The two walked down the stairs together.

Remus was squatting near the fireplace with his wand next to him, attempting to light a fire while Penelope watched. Sirius and Muriel were quietly chatting with one another, next to the staircase.

"Remus, just let me use my wand," Penelope said, twirling the slender piece of wood in her hand. Remus grunted.

"I'll light a fire in this thing if it kills me," he said. His next attempt got him a faceful of soot. Penelope grinned wryly.

"That's likely to happen, at the rate you're going. Now can I?" she asked, as he cleaned himself up using the wand sitting next to him. He nodded. Penelope walked up to the fireplace and raised her wand above her head. 

"Incendio!" she shouted, and bright orange sparks flew out of her wand. In place of the ash and soot a merry fire now crackled. She grinned at Remus, who put his arms around her waist and kissed her. Em cringed.

"Nasty!" Jamie exclaimed, and his parents pulled apart, laughing.

"Now where did you put that Floo powder?" Remus asked. Penelope pointed to the kitchen counter. He grabbed something that looked like a large saltshaker, shook a pinch of the white powder out, and threw it on the fire. The orange flames turned emerald green. Jamie's eyes lit up.

"Neat! Can I try?"

"In a second," his mother said. Remus, you go with Emmie, Sirius and Muriel can go through, and I'll follow up with Jamie."

"That's okay, Mrs. Lupin," Muriel said from her post near the steps. "Dad and I are apparating."

"Appa-who?" Jamie said, looking up at Remus.

"It's a much faster way of Wizard travel," he said, nodding.

"Well, if you're sure..." Penelope was saying. Muriel beamed.

"I'm positive. Dad'll never let me apparate anywhere, so I'm seizing this chance."

"Damn right I won't. People ending up in 2 places--" Sirius began, but Muriel was already gone. He shook his head. "See you in a few." And he was gone, too. The twins were wide-eyed.

"Can I do that, too?" Em asked.

"Not until you're 18, dear," Remus replied, stepping into the fire with her. "Ready?" Em nodded, as the green flames lapped at the hem of her khakis.

"Diagon Alley!" he shouted in a clear voice, and Em hung on to his robes. The last thing she remembered seeing was the white and blue living room, with Mum and Jamie standing near the fireplace. She felt as if her insides were being turned inside out, but the journey was over as soon as it had began, and Em found herself hitting the floor of the Leaky Cauldron butt-first. A couple of the older patrons smiled and nodded wisely, then went back to their drinks and discussions. Almost immediately afterwards, Penelope and Jamie followed suit. Jamie looked faintly green, but was smiling.

"That was cool! Can we do it again?" Penelope shook her head, looking like she was attempting to hide a smile, and turned to her daughter.

"Are you all right?" Em felt how Jamie looked, but she managed to nod and say "Yes" in a tiny voice. Her father put his hand on her shoulder, while their mother surveyed the contents of a list she had brought along.

"So, where to first?" Jamie asked, fully recovered and looking at his new surroundings in awe.

"Gringotts," their parents said in unison. Em raised an eyebrow.

"And that is...?" Penelope gave her a look as if to say it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"The Wizarding Bank," she replied, brushing the soot off her red robes and turning on Jamie and Em. "Run by Goblins and protected by Dragons." Remus grinned at Penelope, who winked at her husband. The twins went wide eyed again.

"That... is so... seriously cool," Jamie said, in awe.

"Seems we've raised a couple of Muggles here," Remus said, reaching into the pockets of his robes. He pulled out 3 coins: one gold, one silver, and one bronze. "The gold ones are Galleons, the silver are Sickles, and the bronze ones are Knuts."

"That's wizard's money," their mother said. "We keep it in a vault in Gringotts, just like we have normal Muggle bank accounts."

"Muggle?" Jamie asked, trying to get a better glimpse of the coins. Penelope gently pulled him back and began to brush the soot off his clothes.

"Human. Not a drop of magic in them. Like..." Remus searched his mind for a good example. "Mrs. Lister, who's still trying to get that tie-dye off of her, Penny." Their mother chuckled, as she finished with Jamie and moved on to Em. Jamie grinned widely.

"You mean like Ms. Bristol?" he asked. Remus shot Penelope a worried look.

"Er, maybe we should get moving," their mother said, finishing up with Em.

A few minutes later they made their way out of the Leaky Cauldron into the courtyard, where they came face to face with a brick wall. Remus stooped down to start counting the bricks, and Penelope was helping. The twins stood a little ways back from this loony spectacle.

"I think they've finally cracked," Jamie whispered to Em, as their father stood up and began to count across.

"I'll say. Why are we in this courtyard?"

"Beats me. I thought we were going to Diagonal Alley."

"Found it!" Their father called cheerfully from the wall. The twins joined their parents. Remus took out his wand from his pocket and tapped the brick.

"Should've remembered," he said to Penelope. "3 up and 2 across." The wall fell away, and an arch appeared in it's place.

"Shall we?" Remus asked, offering his arm to Penelope. The twins nodded, and they all stepped through the arch together.


	3. Diagon Alley or Bust!

Jabberwocky

Chapter 3: Diagon Alley or Bust

by Em and Jamie

  
  


  
  


_A/N: Not much to say, really. Just that we apologize for the length of time and sporadic bursts the chapters come in, but that's just the way the Cauldron Cake crumbles. We both lead very busy Muggle lives that, unfortunately, must take precedence over the great fun of writing. With that said, enjoy the chapter!_

* _~Em and Jamie_

  
  


The archway behind them melded back into a brick wall, and the view of the Leaky Cauldron's courtyard was gone. The bright morning sun shone overhead as Penelope looked for a sign of Sirius and Muriel

"Where could they have gotten off to?" she asked Remus, whose arm she was still holding on to. He shrugged.

"Couldn't have gone too far. I'm sure we'll find them later. I think we have other concerns, though," he said, softening his voice and motioning to the twins, who were staring down the street wide-eyed. Penelope nodded. 

"To Gringotts!" she said cheerfully.

"Where is it?" Jamie asked.

"Big white building in the distance," Remus said. "There's a little cart ride I know you'll enjoy, Jamie." Jamie grinned and winked at Em.

As they walked up the street, the strangest sights met their eyes. An old, wizened wizard sat under a caf umbrella, discussing ministry politics with a few withered old witches and a suspicious looking hag. Owls and bats fluttered around in the display window of a magical pet shop. A huge sign (that changed colors) was hung in a potions supply shop, announcing half off on dragon livers and unicorn horns. Jamie wished, for once, that his parents weren't in such a hurry. That dragon liver sale looked interesting.

Em, on the other hand, was getting more and more nervous as they approached their destination. Goblins! Aren't those dangerous? And dragons guarding the bank vaults like treasure? She breathed a sigh of relief when they approached the white marble steps of Gringotts and saw normal looking people coming in and out of the huge bronze front doors. A Goblin dressed in scarlet and gold bowed them in.

"Classy place," Jamie whispered to her as another Goblin bowed them into a second set of doors, silver this time. There was a message engraved on them, but, since Remus and Penny had already hurried through, no one had time to read it. The inside was even more breathtaking than the facade, however.

A huge skylight set off the gilded countertops and made the white marble interior sparkle. At least a hundred goblins scurried around, weighing stacks of coins and jewels or guiding customers to their vaults. Remus, braving the hustle and bustle, accosted a goblin writing notes in a ledger. 

"Can I help you, sir?" the goblin asked, placing the pencil behind one large and pointed ear and pushing the ledgers aside. Remus dug in the pockets of his robes and pulled out a small gold key.

"Lupin, vault 527?" The goblin took the key and examined it for a few seconds, then nodded. 

"I'll find somebody to assist you." He walked off. Jamie's eyes followed him through the crowd, becoming saucer-like. Penelope put a hand on his shoulder.

"It's a goblin, Jamie. Don't gawk." The goblin that had been helping them pushed his way through the crowd again, this time with a companion in tow.

"This is Farlinka," he told them, and a smaller, female goblin extended her hand. Em and Jamie took in her long and fragile fingers while Remus and Penelope shook with her.

"Follow me," Farlinka said. She led them into one of the marble corridors and stopped at a set of great wooden doors, muttering something in gobbledygook. The door swung out and she held it open for them to pass through. 

Em and Jamie found themselves in a dimly lit stone passageway. Farlinka whistled, and a small cart barreled down to them on little tracks. She hopped in, and motioned for them to do the same. Jamie and Em shared a look, and climbed into the mine cart after their parents. Jamie snickered; their mother looked mildly sick, and Remus had his arm around her shoulder, which her head was buried into. Then the ride began.

It was as if the fastest roller-coaster he had ever been on were a mere waterslide as Jamie threw his hands up into the air, his blonde hair whipping in the wind. He looked around. Farlinka was perched at the front, unruffled, his sister was gaping at something that appeared in the corner of her eyes, and Mum was looking quite green now. Remus was smiling, however, and gave Jamie a small thumbs up from the back. Suddenly, the cart came to a sudden, bone-jarring halt which threw all the passengers forwards, except for the goblin. Farlinka handed Remus the little gold key and motioned to the safe they had come to. Em and Jamie shared a quizzical look with one another, which didn't last because Jamie kept staring at his sister's hair, whose curly tresses were standing almost straight up. A click from the safe drew their attention back to their parents, and the safe door opened. The twins gasped; a few piles of gold were heaped in the corner, a couple large columns of silver were stacked throughout the safe, and knuts were everywhere. 

"We're loaded!" Jamie exclaimed, as he watched his mother sweep away some Galleons into her satchel. Remus raised an eyebrow.

"No, we're not," he said, examining a pile of knuts in the corner.

"Well, we're certainly not bad off," Penelope said, closing her satchel and waiting for Remus to finish. The entire time, Farlinka stood quietly at the entrance to the vault.

"I suppose," Remus said with a shrug, straightening up and closing the bag he held in his hands. They all walked back into the cart, except for Emily. A little silver ring buried in one of the piles of sickles caught her attention, and she was busy staring into its red stones, which glowed even though the light in the safe was dim.

"Emily Marie Lupin! Hurry up!" Her mother's voice echoed through the room, and she glanced at the ring and pocketed it. Climbing into the cart, Remus smiled at her, as Penelope closed her eyes and groaned in preparation for the trip.

"Find something interesting?" he asked. Em blushed in the dim light.

"Staring at the Galleons," she lied, as the cart sped up towards the surface.

-------------

After a quick pit stop to Florian Fortescue's, where Penelope sat for a few minutes and the twins ate giant ice-cream cones (Raspberry Peanut Butter for Jamie and Vanilla Lime Bubblegum for Em), they made their way into a dimly lit little shop with boxes stacked around every wall. Penelope walked up to the counter and rang the bell on it. A moment later, an old and pale man with huge silver eyes walked out of the stockroom. He glanced over to where Remus and the twins stood, then nodded at Penelope.

"Penelope Taylor, if I remember correctly? 12 inches, oak, and phoenix feather? Quite bendable?" he asked in a soft voice. She smiled back at him.

"That's right." Ollivander turned his attention to Remus, atill standing in the entranceway with the twins.

"And Remus Lupin, too. 10 inches, inflexible, birch and unicorn hair?" 

"Yep." Remus nodded.

"And are these your children?" Em smiled weakly and Jamie waved.

"Yes," Penelope and Remus responded simultaneously.

"Hmmm... I see. Well, this is going to call for some unusual wand combinations, then." Ollivander wiped his forehead with a blindingly white handkerchief and walked over to the stack of boxes nearest the door.

"Who's first?" he asked, waving his wand and slowly bringing a couple of boxes down to rest on a footstool. Jamie grinned.

"I am!" he said. Ollivander looked him over, and handed him a box. "Try this."

Jamie opened it hastily and pulled out what looked like a highly polished stick (to Emily, at least).

He turned it over in his hands a few times and then waved it once in the air, saying "Abracadabra!"

Nothing happened. 

Well, nothing other than Mr. Ollivander giving him a very strange look and both of their parents trying to hide their laughter. (and doing a very bad job, too.)

Jamie himself seemed quite disappointed that there wasn't a hole in the ceiling, or that his sister hadn't at least been turned into a goat. He voiced this opinion immediately and Em stuck her tongue out at him, forgetting her nerves temporarily. Remus shushed them both, as Mr. Ollivander came back over holding three more boxes.

"Well, the dragon heartstring and maple doesn't seem to be doing the trick. Try this one." He handed Jamie the top box. "Cherry and phoenix feather. Nice and springy."

Jamie took the wand and waved this one through the air, this time without the incantation. Once again, nothing happened. Emily was beginning to get bored, and from the looks of it, Jamie was beginning to get frustrated.

Mr. Ollivander, however, didn't seem bothered in the slightest - in fact, he seemed quite pleased.

"Very Good!" he kept saying to himself. "A stubborn one! How about this? Eleven inches, willow and unicorn hair." He said, handing Jamie another box, which, after retrieving the wand from it, Jamie discarded. He waved this one half- heartedly, and, when for the third time, nothing happened, he lost it.

"I'm sick of this. I want to leave. I'm probably not even a wizard after all!" He finished vehemently, gesturing angrily with the wand. Mr. Ollivander quietly stood off to the side, collecting boxes together and politely ignoring the scene he was making.

As Penny tried to shut him u- er- calm him, Jamie let go of the wand he was holding in mid gesture. It soared through the air. Emily shoved a pile of boxes on the floor out of her way and with a terrific lunge, managed to catch it with one hand. To her amazement it immediately shot out a trail of sparkling stars as she turned to hand it back to Mr. Ollivander.

Emily gaped. Mr. Ollivander was positively beaming, Remus was clapping, and Penny was glaring furiously at Jamie, who was quailing under her gaze.

"Well, my dear, it seems your wand has found you." Mr. Ollivander said, in characteristically soft tones, completely unruffled by Jamie's ouburst. Emily turned a glowing pink - she could feel her cheeks heating up, but didn't care. This was amazing. She waved the wand, her wand, through the air once more and more glittering stars fell from it's tip. She grinned. Jamie scowled at her through his peripheral vision.

The family walked out of Ollivander's half-an-hour later with both twins outfitted with wands. It had taken Jamie six more tries until he'd finally found a ten and a half inch spruce wand with a core of dragon heartstring that backfired and exploded in a cloud of smoke when he waved it through the air. It was definitely a Jamie wand.

"Where to next?" Jamie asked, who was in considerably better spirits after seeing his wand tip explode.

"Flourish and Blotts." Remus answered at the same time that Penny said "Madame Malkin's."

They both laughed, and the twins gave them withering looks.

"We'll do Madame Malkin's - it's at this end of the alley." Remus agreed, and soon the twins found themselves inside a bright, cheery little shop called Madame Malkin's Robes For All Occasions. Madame Malkin herself bustled over to them moments later dressed in plum colored robes.

"Hogwarts?" When they nodded, she led them briskly to the back of the shop. "I've got it all here. Can't say when I've been more busy - all week, students in and out, in and out..." She didn't seem particularly bothered by the fact, though, and Emily and Jamie both climbed obligingly up onto the stools she put in front of them. They allowed themselves to be draped in black robes, which were then magically altered with the twins still in them.

"I used to do it the muggle way - pins and needles, you know- but this is ever so much faster, especially with the thinner students. Once, this poor boy actually got stuck inside his robes, and it took ages to get him out. I underestimated how much baby fat he had, you see, but that was when I had just started magical alterations, and I'm much better at it now," She added hastily, seeing Em's terrified look. Jamie seemed to think the idea of being trapped inside one's robes was quite hillarious.

"You don't have any that are tie-dyed, do you?" He asked, fingering the black material that his father was paying for forlornly.

"Tie-what? " Madame Malkin looked at him curiously. "Well," she began, slowly, "We do have a new shipment of Robes by Virginia, but, well..." she looked at Jamie, a young boy in a tie-dyed shirt and black Hogwarts robes and gestured to the trendy satin robes that Penny would be more likely to wear than him. "...I'm sure they're not you're style." Remus laughed in spite of himself. Penny blushed a deep crimson, and hurriedly thanked Madame Malkin as she pulled Jamie out of the store, closely followed by Remus and Emily, who was still wearing her robes.

As the four headed down the bustling street towards Flourish and Blott's (and Emily was attempting to pull off the robes), Emily spotted a store with a large, polished window that read:

Quality Quidditch Supplies: Retailers of Fine Brooms

And hanging behind the glistening letters was a broom with a shimmering pale blue handle labeled in silver: Nimbus Hailstorm.

"Hey!" She exclaimed, hurrying over to the window and pressing her nose to the pane of glass alongside two smaller boys.

"Look! Mum, Dad, Jamie! It's my broom!" Penny smiled and Remus grinned and strode over to his daughter. 

Jamie, however, said, "Em, how can you be interested in cleaning appliances when you could be looking at this?" He was gazing longingly at a shop across the street whose sign read: 

Weasley's Wizard Wheezes

Enter and you'll never be the same! (And neither will anyone you meet!)

Penny shot Remus a horrified look. Jamie was heading over to the shop.

------------------

By the time they had pried Em away from the window, Jamie had already gone through the double doors and found himself surrounded by the place of his dreams. Fake Wands, on the left a sign next to him read, and Fake Signs, right next to Fake Wands was seen across the way. There were piles of recipe books for joke cuisine, and mountains of dungbombs and Filibuster's fireworks.

"I've died and gone to Heaven," he said in awe.

"Hey, little guy. Interested in the fireworks, eh?" A rather muscular redheaded man came up behind him and grinned broadly.

"You have no idea," Jamie responded, not taking his eyes off the mountain. The man laughed and extended his hand.

"George Weasley, owner of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. The bloke behind the counter is Fred Weasley, my partner." Fred bowed deeply.

"Charmed, Old Bean," he said, and went back to counting the days sales.

"Anything I can help you with?" George asked, picking up a book that had fallen earlier that day.

"Just looking... my sister is glued to the Quid-ditch supply store across the street." George nodded sagely. Remus and Penelope burst in, practically dragging Em behind them.

"In fact, there she is now!" Jamie said cheerfully, but his smile fell as he saw the look on his mother's face. 

"James Nathaniel Lupin..." Penny began dangerously.

"Lupin?" Fred looked up from his counting to watch the spectacle before him.

"Now, now, Penny. It's been a long day..." Remus patted her shoulder comfortingly.

"Lupin?" George looked over at Fred, who shrugged.

"But it's only one o' clock!" Em piped up. Remus shot her a worried look.

"Honey, now isn't the best time..." Fred and George smiled at the exact same time.

"Professor Lupin?" Both Penny and Remus turned around.

"Fred? George?" Remus' tired face broke into a wide grin.

"Professor Lupin!" The Weasley chorused. Jamie and Emily exchanged surprised looks.

"Professor?" Jamie gave his father a curious look, but Remus wasn't watching. He had strode over to the counter and was heartily shaking each of the Weasley twins hands.

"Professor Lupin," Fred was saying energetically, "We haven't seen you in ages! I didn't know you were married! How's Sirius? And Muriel?"

Remus smiled easily back at them. 

"Yes, this is my wife Penelope. She's also, er, a Professor Lupin. She taught at Hogwarts when Muriel was there. She and Sirius are both fine, by the way. We're supposed to be meeting them around here sometime soon... but they seem to have disappeared. And these two," he finished, his eyes falling on his children. "are James and Emily- they're twins." Jamie was gazing longingly at a barrel of ton-tongue toffees, but offered a cheery half-wave, while Emily blushed furiously and grabbed onto the side of her mother's robes as she pushed her out in front of her.

"Twins!" The Weasley twins chimed joyfully. 

"Yes indeed. Jamie reminds me of you two at that age. Well, at any age, really. Emily is really quite interested in Quidditch, even though she only found out what it was yesterday."

"They were raised as Muggles." Penny explained. George nodded knowingly. 

"You should introduce them to our dad - he'd love them." Fred said, glancing sidelong to George.

"Ah, yes. How are your parents? And brothers and sister?" Remus asked, and they were off discussing all nine members of the Weasley clan. The four adults were so wrapped up in their conversation they didn't even notice Jamie standing over near a vat of frog spawn ("Very useful for giving yourself or someone else warts." read the sign). He turned to his left and began to examine the contents of the nearest shelf: "dungbombs and other fine explodables". 

Dungbombs? Jamie thought, curiously. What in the world are those? He picked up and economy size pack of them - twenty bombs for the price of ten!- and shook it vigorously, waiting to see what would happen. 

BANG! POP! The noises, which came consecutively from the box, made Jamie jump back and throw the volatile package high into the air in surprise. 

It landed in the frog spawn.

Splash! Gurgle! Glug!

"Hey!"

"What the hell...?!"

"James Nathaniel Lupin!" 

"Eurgh!" 

Jamie could hear all these noises, and could guess at who (and what) was making them, but he couldn't see a thing. His face was covered in slimy green liquid, and his eyes were shut tight, to protect them. Groping, he found a clean corner of his t-shirt and wiped his eyes before opening. What he saw was Emily, crouched behind the counter, Fred and George Weasley, their faces contorted into strange expressions, his father, magicking his long robes clean, and the furious, outraged face of his mother. She spluttered for a moment, but words seemed to have failed her. 

Finally Penny let out a long groan.

"Aggggghhhhhhhh!" 

Emily, who had just stood up, shrank even farther behind the counter, away from her mother's wrath. Remus looked like he was trying to come up with something soothing to say. Jamie just stood there.

Fred and George began to laugh. The sound echoed off the walls and reverberated in the still air, perfumed with the delicate scent of dungbombs and frog spawn. Soon Remus and Emily had begun to laugh, too, and Jamie couldn't help it. He grinned. For a moment Penny just looked from the Weasleys, to her husband, to her daughter, and finally to her son, who had a huge wart blooming on his nose, and then she began to laugh, too.

They left Weasley's Wizard Wheezes with an armful of bags full of explodables and other goodies that would make Sirius salivate (and indeed, he almost did). Jamie, of course, was relegated the task of carrying this... prodigious bounty.

"Now, we have to get you both your books, and then we can go home," Penelope was saying. Em was bobbing her head to some tune in her mind, and Jamie was grinning ear to ear, and trying to focus on the huge wart on his nose, which was gaining him quite a few stares from many of the passers-by. His mum hung back a moment, to catch up with him.

"Enjoying your wart?"

"Oh, very much." And it was the truth. Jamie Lupin, after all, always loved to be the center of attention. Penelope smiled at him, and, gazing at her son as she sometimes did when he was in a more well behaved mood, she thought about just how how different those twins were. It was almost scary, come to think of it (at least, that was Remus' viewpoint about it). Her reverie, however, was interrupted by the jingling of bells on the doors of Flourish and Blotts. Remus held open the door, and, upon letting his wife and children in, he entered the store himself.

It was just as he remembered it, with the dusty floorboards and thickly bespectacled shopkeeps milling about, assisting customers as needed. Sirius was standing off to the corner of the 'teaching manuals, instruction booklets, and guidebooks to scenic areas of Great Britain and Ireland' (it was inventory time) with a book (One-thousand Relatively Safe Ways To Teach Hex Deflection

) under his arm, looking off into space whilst Muriel intently studied a thick book titled Grindylows, Werewolves, and Vampires (oh my!): How to Avoid These Denizens of the Dark. He perked up when the twins, Remus, and Penelope walked in (Jamie with a huge wart on his nose), and left his daughter standing amidst the piles of books. 

"Done already?" He asked. Penelope rolled her eyes.

"Already?" She asked wryly. Jamie grinned.

"Hey, Uncle Sirius! Look what I got!" He pointed out the wart proudly, and Em wrinkled her nose.

"Jamie, that's gross."

"Oooh, excuse me, little miss perfect wizard girl."

"Witch," Muriel corrected him, from behind her book. Remus turned around, with a frown on his face.

"Em, Jamie! Stop!" The twins instantly became quiet. Remus' frown relaxed, and his eyes scanned the store.

"Listen," he began, while Penelope and Muriel were pouring over teaching aides and Sirius patiently hung back, "Why don't you all find something to do for a half hour or so while your mother and I get your books? Pick out a book on Quidditch or something." Jamie turned to Em, who shrugged.

"Okay, I guess." Remus nodded.

"Good, then. Meet us back... there," He said, pointing at the front door, and he joined his wife and Sirius over near the bookshelves.

"Remus," Muriel said, as the twins walked away, "there's some really interesting stuff on werewolves in here..."

"So now what?" Em asked. It was Jamie's turn to shrug.

"I dunno. I suppose we can find something around here. It's big enough." He walked a few paces away, looking into the crowd, and his sister followed.

Near the Quidditch section, in potions, a small red headed boy stood by his parents, a frazzled looking pair of adults to be sure. Bored, the boy was taking locks of his curly hair and stretching them out, only to let them go and sploing themselves back into place. His mother, a young-ish woman with her son's curly hair (only brown) was looking with interest at the textbook she held in her hands.

"I like the new ones," She remarked casually to her husband, whom the son had obviously inherited his hair coloring from. "They're much more informative. Minerva did well this term."

"McGonagall usually does," The man replied, watching his son bemusedly.

"Yes, but these--" She held up the textbook, "-acually go into more detail about the potion making process. Snape can do as bad a job he wants, but they'll still learn."

"Thrilling."

"Ron," she said, somewhat peeved, "I'm beginning to think that you don't care about your children's education!" Ron put a hand on her shoulder.

"Hermione," He began, "I do care, really I do. But we all know that Artie (he gestured to his son) and Melissa will have a good education whatever the books are."

"Why can't Gwen be here?" The boy asked, looking up at his parents.

"Because Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny have gone on holiday to the Isle of Wight and won't be back for another week," His mother patiently explained. 

"Anyway," Ron continued, "we're supposed to be on vacation, too, and so far we've spent it practically all in Diagon Alley. I want to see Fred and George again, and Mum and Dad. Even Percy."

His wife laughed.

Jamie pricked up his ears. Fred and George? Like, the guys from the joke shop?

At that moment another red-head ran up to the family, holding a large picture book. This little girl had the same fiery hair as her brother, but it was long and straight, pulled back neatly behind her head in a bow. She couldn't have been more than six.

"Mummy! Mummy!" She cried, when she reached her family and collided with her mother's leg. "Mummy, I want this one!" She waved the colorful book around in the air above her head. 

Her mother took the book from her daughter's tiny hand and looked at the cover. It said: Simple Spells to Help You Get a Head-Start.

"Alright sweetie." Hermione nodded, as Ron hoisted his daughter onto his shoulders, making her squeal with delight.

"I don't know, Mel." He said, with mock seriousness, "If you keep on like this you'll wind up exactly like your mother-" His wife cut him off abruptly by punching him in the arm.

At this point the boy had grown bored of sploinging his curls and was wandering over to the Quidditch shelves, where Em was torn between two books: Who says We Have to Ride Side-Saddle? A History of Women in Quidditch By Glynnis Griffiths of the Holyhead Harpies, and I Believe I can Fly - But How Do I Do It?All the Basics You Need to Know Before Mounting That Broom; and where Jamie was crouched behind the shelves, spying on the family in the Potions section.

"Er -" Someone cleared their throat behind him and Jamie jumped, knocking his head on the shelf. He spun around.

"Sorry." Said the red-headed boy, who now stood in front of him. "I just wanted to get a new copy of Quidditch Through The Ages, only you're blocking the shelf."

Jamie grinned widely.

"Sorry." He said, sticking out his hand. "I'm Jamie Lupin. And this is my twin sister Emily." He gestured at Em, who was engrossed in Who Says We Have To Ride Side-Saddle? And gave the new boy the merest half a glance before returning to her book.

"I'm Arthur Granger-Weasley." The boy said, sticking out his hand as well. "What's that on your nose?" 

Jamie beamed, but before he could say anything, Em cut in, "It's a wart. He practically exploded the whole joke shop before we got here and gave himself a wart." She had put down her book and was looking at Arthur Granger-Weasley with much more interest than before.

"I'm Em." She said, smiling at him.

"You guys can call me Artie." Arthur said, "Everyone else does. So are you two going to Hogwarts this year?"

"Yup," Jamie replied, proudly. "We're going to be first years."

"Hey! Me too!" Artie said. "So, who's your Quidditch team?"

"We haven't got any." Jamie said as Em replied, "The Holyhead Harpies. What about you?" 

"Huh?" Artie looked thoroughly confused, and he glanced between the twins. 

"Well," Jamie explained, "We were raised as Muddles-"

"Muggles, Jamie." Em sighed, exasperated.

"Whatever. So anyway, even though Mum and Dad are a witch and a wizard, we didn't know we were until yesterday - that was our eleventh birthday."

"Why did your parents raise you as Muggles if they're magical?" Artie asked, looking more confused than ever.

"Well, as far as I understand it," Em began, "They were heavily involved in fighting someone called Vulgarmore who was very dangerous- What?

Artie looked torn between being horrified and bemused.

"Not V-Vulgarmore." He laughed, then took a deep breath, "Voldemort."

"Right, that's the guy." Em hurried on, ignoring Artie's now pasty complexion. "Anyway, so they decided it would be safer if we were raised as Muggles until we went to Hogwarts. At least, that's what they told us." 

Artie nodded, "Well, I guess that's understandable. You said you blew up the joke shop?" He asked, turning back to Jamie.

"Yup," Jamie answered, grinning again. "Well, just the barrel of frog spawn."

"My uncles own it," Artie replied, "I bet they loved it."

"Yeah! They were great! Mum wasn't too happy, though," Jamie said.

"Artie! Artie!" A woman's voice came from the other side of the shelf.

"Back here, Mum!" He called, and soon her curly brown head poked around the corner, followed by the rest of her and little Melissa.

"Artie, we're go- Oh! You've made new friends."

"This is Em and Jamie Lupin, Mum. They're going to be first years, too."

"Pleased to-" She broke off abruptly, "Lupin? Not related to Remus Lupin, by any chance?"

"He's our Dad," Em replied. "Why?"

"Oh my!" Hermione said, "I didn't know Professor Lupin's children were Artie's age! Harry did mention he had twins- Are your parents with you? Ron!"

"Yeah - and Uncle Sirius and Muriel." Jamie replied; they're getting our books.

"What?" Ron asked, joining Hermione and Melissa. His face broke out into a grin when he saw Jamie's face. "Nice wart!"

"Thanks!" Jamie replied happily. Hermione continued on.

"Sirius and Muriel, too? I haven't seen them in ages! Ron, these are Professor Lupin's children, Em and... I'm sorry, what are your names again?"

"Em and Jamie," Artie explained patiently. Ron stared at Hermione blankly.

"Professor Lupin's married?"

Hermione shook her head, smiling. "You were at the wedding, don't you remember? You sat right next to Neville and me?" Ron slapped his forehead.

"Oh yeah! Where are your parents?"

"We're about to go and meet them, Ron,"

"C'mon then!" Jamie said, grabbing his sister's hand and leading Artie and his family over to where they were supposed to be meeting Remus and Penny.

Penelope and Sirius had gone in search of the last remaining copies in stock of Herbology: How to Identify Those Wacky Weeds by Mary Jane Roller and Remus and Muriel were left, choosing her books.

"So we keep the Hex Deflection book, Grindylows, Werewolves, and Vampires (oh my), and Curses! Dueling the Dark Arts. Anything else?"

"Well, I personally liked the Claudius Fink series on Not Quite a Hex But Not Avada Kedavra Either. It's good for the mid grade students."

"Wonderful." Muriel looked up from the books in her arms and tapped Remus on the shoulder. "Eh, Uncle Remus? Incoming." The Weasleys and the twins walked over to them, and Hermione smiled excitedly. 

"Professor Lupin!" Remus turned around, and his face brightened.

"Hermione! And Ron! Hogwarts shopping?" Hermione pulled Artie out in front of her.

"Oh, yes. This is our son, Arthur. He'll be in his first year." Artie looked up at Remus, startled, and he extended his hand.

"Er, pleased to meet you?" 

Remus shook his hand, and he escaped to where the twins were standing. Hermione was looking over at Muriel, who was trying hastily to clean up the pile of books around her feet.

"My, Muriel, you've grown," she said. Muriel grinned, and straightened her glasses.

"I find that happens after 21 years. How are you, Hermione?" The two women started chatting excitedly about Muriel's new job, as Ron and Remus started speculating on the new year.

Soon Penny and Sirius turned up, arms laden with not only copies of Herbology: How to Identify Those Wacky Weeds, but many other finds as well.

"Well I.ll be a hippogriff's second cousin!" Sirius called as Penny rolled her eyes at him. "What Pen? Don't you like my sense of humor?" He gave her a rougish grin and turned back to the group in front of him, "Ron and Hermione - it's been too long! Artie can't possibly Hogwarts age yet, can he?"

"That he is," Hermione said, once again pulling her son away from Em and Jamie and shoving him in front of her. Artie shook Sirius' hand quickly and hurried back over to the twins.

"So that's Sirius Black?" He asked, wide-eyed. Jamie nodded, nonplussed. "I haven't seen him since I was a baby, but he visits Gwen all the time. He's her great-godfather."

"Who's Gwen?" Em asked, anxious to learn more about other potential fellow students.

"My best friend," Artie said proudly, "Gwen Potter. She's also my cousin. Aunt Ginny is Dad's sister, and Gwen's dad is Harry Potter."

This pronouncement did not, evidently, have the desired reaction. Jamie nodded vaguely, though not taking his eyes off his wart which he was looking at, cross-eyed. Em however looked impressed.

"The one who defeated Vulg- sorry- Voldemort?"

"Yes," Artie nodded, "And could you stop saying the name, please? Just say 'You-Know-Who' and we'll all know who you mean."

Em raised an eyebrow at him, "No, I don't think so."

Artie gaped at her, but any further mention of Vol- sorry- _You-Know-Who_ was averted by Jamie shrieking: "It _is_!"

"What is what?" Em asked as she and Artie both turned to look at him, puzzled.

"My wart! It's shrinking!" Jamie announced, looking horribly disappointed.

They both laughed.

"Well you didn't expect it to stay like that forever, did you? It'd get boring!" Em said, giggling.

"S'pose not," Jamie muttered, looking a tad forlorn.

It was lucky that at this point all their parents mutually agreed to check out and move their conversations to the Leaky Cauldron, because just then Jamie's stomach gave a loud rumble.

After stepping out of Flourish and Blott's Sirius and Muriel bade everyone good-bye and disapparated for home.

The sun was setting over Diagon Alley as the Weasleys and the Lupins found themselves once again in the Leaky Cauldron. The crowd had picked up some, and Tom was running around in his dinnertime rush.

"Visit us whenever you want," Penelope said, as she embraced Hermione and Ron.

"We will, and the same to you!" Hermione called as she and Melissa disappeared in the flames. Ron offered a cheerful wave as he walked into the fire, and Artie grinned.

"I'll owl you," he said to Jamie and Em, and then he walked through the fire and was gone. Penelope slumped into a nearby chair and smiled at the ceiling.

"Thank Goodness it's over," she said. Em took out her copy of Who Says we Have To Ride Side-Saddle? and leaned against the wall next to the fireplace, opening up the book to where she had left off. Jamie was fidgety, though, and a sight out of the corner of his eyes caught his attention. An old woman and man had just come into the Leaky Cauldron, with a young girl in tow. She looked to be about Jamie's age, with long, buttery blonde hair and wide blue eyes. The old couple was accompanied by a younger family, a man with silvery hair, pale grey eyes, dressed in expensive looking black robes. His wife was shorter and rather pug-faced, and wore silk robes of a deepest rose color. A boywith them looked remarkably like the father, with the same pale, refined look and haughty air, though he appeared to be a few years older than the twins. And there was one other girl, one short, slightly thick about the waist girl with long, shiny brown hair and a pinched look to her face. 

"Come now, Ramses," the younger man with the extremely blonde hair was saying. "Take your sister up to your rooms, and we'll meet down here for dinner. Nicoletta, follow your brother." Ramses and Nicoletta departed, leaving the older couple and their charge with the man with the blonde hair and his wife. Jamie ducked behind his table, away from their view, causing Penelope to frown and drag him up.

"Honestly, Draco, couldn't we have picked somewhere better than here? It's so... low class," the young woman drawled. Draco rolled his eyes and addressed the older couple.

"So we'll meet at Knockturn tomorrow morning, and get down to business," he said quietly.

"But of course. Remember, 9 o' clock, sharp, by Mortis Rigare's." The old man held out his hand to Draco. "It's always wonderful doing business with you, Mr. Malfoy."

"And you too, Mr. Lestrange." 

Remus sputtered, and dropped a bag that he had been holding. Jamie was interrupted in his thoughts, and Em looked up from her book.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Penelope asked, stooping down and picking up the scattered contents from the potions supply store.

"Pen, kids," he said, shaken. "Let's get out of here." He put his arm around Penelope's waist as she reached into her purse for the salt shaker.

_Thanks for reading and please leave us a review!_

_Until next time, _

_Em and Jamie_


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